Men of the Ring
by Angela Dahl (@AngelaDahling)
Ladies, we’re all looking for that one ring, right? I’m not talking about the one forged in Mount Doom, but there is a connection between the two. With the release of the new Hobbit movie trailer, I decided to rewatch The Lord of the Rings movies, starting with The Fellowship of the Ring. What I discovered about myself is that I could track my progress in my taste in my men, and I think you can too, by which character I was drawn to at different points in my life.
Fellowship came out when I was fourteen, so I of course was obsessed with Legolas. He was just so pretty! If you think about it, a lot of our first crushes were straight up pretty boys. Think about all the boy bands we loved. Young Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter had a boyish charm about them that stemmed from their blonde hair, blue eyes, and youthful appeal. Take Legolas out of his elf clothing, and he totally could’ve been the frontman of an early-2000s boy band. Because he’s an elf and light on his feet, he could quickly pick up on choreography. Are you now imagining Legolas doing body rolls? ‘Cause I am.
Then somewhere in college, I became an Aragorn girl. No more girly squeeing over Legolas (though I did squee when I saw him in The Desolation of Smaug trailer. Old habits). Aragorn’s rugged manly-manliness cloaked over that kingly swagger really did it for me. This coincided with the rise in my obsession with Johnny Depp, Richard Armitage, and other tall, dark and handsomes. Aragorn represents the “perfect man” fantasy. At that point in my life, I wanted to go out with someone who was the total package: sexy with an edge, with a noble heart, long-term goals, and a little bit of stubble. I was in my late teens/early twenties, so I had the time to hold out for a hero, so to speak.
Upon watching this movie yet again post-grad school, I found that I paid a lot of attention to Merry and Pippin, particularly Pippin. Dem green eyes are pretty amazing, though Frodo’s unreal blue ones get most of the attention. Right now, I want what Merry and Pippin have in my future relationships. I just want to be with someone who’s my equal, who wants to eat second breakfast in bed and join me in my ridiculous plans (maybe not stealing vegetables, but definitely going on quests). They have a perfect best friendship, and that’s a solid place to begin building a relationship burrow. Yes, stubble would be nice, but someone who’ll stick with me even through being kidnapped by Orcs is even better.
Based on my progress thus far, I’ll be lusting after Gandalf within the next ten years (gotta love a man who knows how to use a big stick). But until then, here’s hoping that we all find the hobbit of our hearts.